When my dear friend Currado Malaspina heard the president-elect attribute his predilection for urinating on Russian prostitutes to his onerous dread of microbial bacteria he found himself nodding in sympathy.
Avoiding conventional penetration with uncertain partners has been Currado's longstanding practice for many, many years. That such an esteemed public figure confessed to the same sexual protocol provided my friend a comforting sense of validation.
Malaspina's germaphobia has been something of a gift. While eliminating an entire range of possible pleasures it has forced this eccentric and resourceful French artist to indulge in fetishes and improvisations that are typically unavailable to the average casual sybarite.
This newfound affinity with the imminent leader of the still free world has filled Currado with a strange sense of pride. He hopes that in the course of Trump's upcoming term of office many other marginalized forms of gratification will find frank and open expression within our shared culture. Men and women all stand to prosper under this refreshing, new regime of candid carnality.
America - the greatest micturition on earth!!
America - the greatest micturition on earth!!
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